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We talked on and on that way until the coffee was gone. By the time she finished putting things away, it had started raining again. That earlier one had been little more than a shower. This was a deluge. Swirling sheets of water pounded the car. Trees bent, as if in obeisance to the storm. Until this blew over, driving was out of the question. It was too noisy inside the car to talk. At first, we just stared through the fogged-up windshield at nature’s onslaught. Then we both turned and looked at one another. It was no casual glance. Somehow, we’d become more than just strangers in a storm. Those soft brown eyes seemed to search my soul, my heart. I watched, mesmerized, as she bit her lower lip, started to say something, hesitated, looked away, then back. On her face was a small, tentative smile. That’s when my brain stopped working and instinct took over. As I reached for her, she slid over beside me. We made love to the sound of the rain drumming on the car’s roof. It all seemed so. I met all the people I planned to meet, but I couldn't seem to get any meaningful conversations started. Perhaps some rest before my talk with Howard would help settle my mind.As I lay in bed that morning, I thought about what I must do. I must convince Howard that I have given up any idea of an affair. I must make him believe that I am his exclusively and that my request the other night was nothing more than the ravings of a menopausal woman. Surely he could believe that was possible. I had stopped taking hormone replacement therapy after the health scares. Perhaps I could blame it on that.I told Ginny about my confrontation with Howard. She scolded me for being so careless. She knew of my desire to take a lover. She does not approve. She warned me that Howard would never accept it. She can't understand why I would want to cheat on him. She sees him as the perfect husband. She's right of course. He is perfect. Too perfect.Why am I so hell-bent on self-destruction? Why do I think I.
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