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I remember not going out of my loft for weeks on end. Days spent cowering in bed, fearful of a swirling darkness that seemed to be closing in on me inexorably. Most of my friends from the art world deserted me, now that I could no longer be a part of their world of openings and cocktail parties. Those that would have helped me, I fucked off with my obnoxious behaviour. As far as I was concerned the world was a sewer, and polite human behaviour about as useful to it as a stick of deodorant. "It wasn't long of course before I couldn't keep up the rent on the loft and I was evicted. "That was the strangest day of my life. I hadn't eaten for several days... I had no money. I didn't know what I was going to do. I went to Central Park and sat down under a tree to think about what I should do. But my mind was restless and couldn't consider any single aspect of my situation for more than a few seconds. The only way to cope was not to let it sink in. "Eventually the sun went down and the. I fully expected my sister to scream and fall to the floor. I think she can be tenacious when she wants to be and she seemed to be summoning up the endurance to match my mother’s ability to hold the position for as long as she could.“No, this isn’t about your mother. This is about you and the choice you wanted me to give you,” Dad said.“I am sorry, Sir, I should have asked the question differently. If Teddy tells me to do something, will mom have to demonstrate it first before I do it?” she asked.“You will refer to your brother as Master Teddy while you are in training,” Dad said. He wasn’t sure why she was asking that.I was, though. My sister was clever and devious. She was sure I’d never ask my mother to do something nasty. She wanted some kind of checks and balances to make sure I didn’t do that.My father must have been clever and devious as well because I think he figured it out. “Master Teddy will have a list of expectations for you. I will be at work all day tomorrow, and as.
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