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Definition of a wife: “An attachment you screw on the bed to get the housework done.”How are an oven and a woman alike?You have to get them both hot before you can stick the meat in.Remember what’s worse than getting raped by Jack the Ripper?Getting fingered by Captain Hook.Well, you know what’s worse than that?Getting eaten out by Jaws.What’s the purpose of a bellybutton?To put your gum in on the way down.Why was the stamp commemorating prostitution so unpopular?You had to pay an extra ten cents to lick it.What’s the difference between a hormone and an enzyme?You can’t hear an enzyme.How do you make a hormone?Put sand in the Vaseline.What’s a cunt that talks back?An answering cervix.What do you give an eighty-year-old woman for her birthday?Mikey ... He’ll eat anything.What do you call a woman who uses too much contraceptive cream?A spermicidal maniac.Why do women have legs?So they don’t leave snail tracks on linoleum floors.What do you call a hooker with no legs?A nightcrawler.What. I could make out a figure in front of the small mirror on the wall. I was a pissed that Claudia obviously brought me a prostitute, but I had to scratch this itch that had been dogging me for weeks. I walked up to the door and took a peek inside. The prostitute was applying her makeup .. Her back was to me. she was probaly about 4’11’ of height. She was definitely a BBW … She had a well defined pear shape and was wearing nothing but a stark black bra and panties. A long mane of raven black hair with highlights hung low at her shoulders… but that wasn’t what interested me … … it was that ass. …what an ass it was … Massive, smooth and abnormally round sitting at one of the most defined small waists I’d ever seen. That black thong was barely visible … I began to drool at the prospect of running my aching, throbbing cock up and down that phat, luscious mad lump of an ass. Claudia, I love you. Suddenly, the prostitute turned and face me …. and to this day I really couldn’t tell you much.
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