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"What? Has something happened?" I asked in a daze. "I've only just gotoff to sleep! What is it? Are we on fire? I haven't heard the alarm!" Come on sleepyhead, its 8.30!" It can't be 8.30, I went to bed at 9.30. Time doesn't run backwardshere does it? Or is this some sort of weird dream?" I thought."No! Its 8.30 on Saturday morning. Breakfast is until 10.30, but we wantto get a good place by the pool, so I thought I'd bring you some tea!" What? It can't be, I....!But sure enough, Gemma pulled back the curtains to reveal a blue sky withpatchy white clouds."It rained overnight, did you hear it? But its going to be a fine dayaccording to the weather forecast," she said. "The bags have arrived too.They must have come when we were at dinner. They are in the luggagespace behind the door." How long have you been up?" I asked."Oh, only an hour or so," she said "I thought I'd let you sleep in. I ama bit of a 'morning' person though!"An hour later, showered and dressed in smart shorts. ..my arse was propped up, as it is, when you bend over: to get stubbies from the lower shelf of a fridge.The broader of the two distinctly said to the taller, just above a whisper but loud enough for me to hear: “Check between her legs mate”Oh bugger; I should have shaved...a few stray pubes were exciting the letches. Fuck tight bathers.Hamish added in a similar soft sleazy low tone: “Nice tits, I’d grab them...you can have her hairy arse...if you want it...mate”As I spun and put three beers on the bench dividing us: I looked them both straight in the eyes and said: “Guys; I decide who gets my tits and hairy arse okay”They both did the over sexed male apology together: a blended blustering sorry. Love playing the politically correct card, to see guys squirm.Then I just grinned. They both look perplexed.I said it again slowly: “I’ll decide who gets my boobs and butt...I thinking Jarryn can have my tits because he wanted my arse...and you Hamish can stick your tongue in my hairy butt.
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