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"I'm going to be a lazy ass man - I'm going to stuff my shirt with a pillow for my beer gut. I'm going to put some mascara on my cheeks for my 5 O'clock shadow of a beard. I'm going to wear a wrinkled dress shirt, with an ugly tie, and a pair of pants either too small or too big."All of this just had the girls almost doubled over laughing."I don't see what's so damn funny - I don't see anyone that matches a description like that," I protested."Have you looked in the mirror today, Paul? Come on, did you even try to shave this morning? Have you heard of dry cleaners? You know they can iron your clothes for you?" Miriam was picking on me. "Could you lose some of that gut?" The other ladies had tears rolling down their cheeks as they laughed."Maybe I should come as a typical bitch - wear a too tight dress clinging to pillow under it to accentuate the butt! Put on WAY too much make-up, and then walk around all day not doing anything," I said."I would pay to see that!" Pam said, bringing. I want to know whatyou think about me becoming Tina full time." You are Tina full time." No, I mean in school and everything."But Meredith insisted. It was just that in school, she was Tinamasquerading as Chris. The teachers who favored girls over boysencouraged her and the ones who preferred the boys gave her a hard time."But if I suddenly start going to school like this..." You mean, like you really desperately and totally want to?" Yeah. If I do, everyone will freak out. 'Sissy faggot' will be thenicest thing they'll call me. And they'd turn on anyone who was still myfriend. Look what they did to Ken the other day." Looked more like what Ken did to them, if you ask me. He cleaned theirclocks."Tina waved her away."Even my mom is worried about me changing in the middle of the schoolyear. She always figured that if I did this, it would be over the summerand I'd change schools."Meredith sat back and looked her up and down."If?" she asked. Tina blushed."You know what the biggest.
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