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I became subhuman. I was a thing. I existed forthe mockery of others so that they could feel good about themselves. Icould feel the witnesses to my humiliation all thinking to themselves,'At least I'm not the Jones' boy.'From that moment forward, I resolved to never be that thing again. Idevoted myself to proving to my family that I was a boy. Iovercompensated in every way possible. I played every contact sportthere was. I went out with my friends and harassed and beat upeffeminate guys. I scored with as many girls as possible before I gotmarried. I treated all women like meat until my daughter was born.After all that, I could not believe that I had to deal with it again. Ifelt that this was a sick joke played on me by a higher power. I hadspent my whole adult life denying this side of me so I wouldn't have todeal with it, and then my son goes and brings back the memories and themeaning of my urges.I wondered what I could say to him. I had spent most of my life livingwith my own. ." I'm yours, Austin. I want to please you." I'm not sure you being with other guys would please me." Yes, it would. Knowing that I'm your girl and I will do anything you want me to do with other guys yet at the end of the day I'm still your girl no matter what ... doesn't that excite you?"I had to think about it. "Maybe," I said but it did kind of excite me."I told you that I want you to tell me what to do." Yes, I just..." In all ways." Okay..." Think about it," she said. "You'll have me AND a lot of money."I liked the idea but I felt bad that I liked it. It made me feel kind of like I was Logan even though I wasn't. She saw a difference between us so I guess that was all that was important.I forgot about the conversation while I fucked her. She wanted to do it doggie-style. She wanted me "dominant" today was what she said.I remembered the conversation as soon as we were done. Kelly wanted to please me and not just sexually. She wanted to help me make money."I don't need the money,".
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