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Suddenly you see yourself not as the sexily attractive woman you dressed up to be, but, as everyone else sees your - a man dressed up in women’s clothes, who has just been used as a sexual plaything by another man. You contrast this with the cognitive self-image you have created for yourself. You feel repulsed by what you have just done; by how you look. You see yourself as a sissy; a faggot!You run from the bar through the street still crowded with vanilla partygoers. You are overcome with self-consciousness; your face and your clothes still visibly coverd in a mans cum; you, an obvious man in womens clothing; your own cum starting to dribble from your crotch down you stockinged legs. You run as fast as you can in your heels to your car and drive homes quickly as you can.You lie awake all night thinking about it; trying to rationalise what happened. You convince yourself that your feeling of revulsion confirms that you are not gay. Maybe this event will help you stop the. I was woken from my trance by my mobile ringing. It was April. She was the daughter of a friend of mine. She was 21 and as I remember from the odd party, very pleasing on the eye. Apparently she had slipped in the shower a couple of days before and still had a nagging ache in the small of her back. Her Mum had suggested that she contact me to see if there was anything I could do. I was about to tell her to come over Monday but changed my mind. I told her to come straight over. April thanked me and said she would be over in ten minutes.April was true to her word and was knocking on my door ten minutes later. I opened the door and was greeted by April wearing a white bikini underneath a sheer see through sarong. I welcomed her in. The reason I went against my, “No work” policy at the weekends was I wanted to get to know her better. I’d only seen her at the odd party and other than a smile, hadn’t talked to her. I know it sounds extremely unprofessional but the idea of giving her a.
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