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It all seemed to be so impossiblefor so long - but here is the story of how I beat my fear and got thecourage to transition. On July 6 of last year I broke up with Heather, ending the worstrelationship of my life. I was 25 at the time. Heather was in interestingspecimen to be sure. A grouchy and emotionless diabetic finishing up herPhD in Exercise Science, Heather was someone that eschewed femininityalmost completely. If I were to be truthful, I would admit that I lovedher because I deemed her fucked up enough to love me back. It was an interesting relationship because in many ways I was the girl. Ienjoyed cooking her dinners as she finished her dissertation. It was avery bad relationship in that I rarely felt respected - Heather rarelycared to put any mind into our conversations, and she generally ignored meunless it was convenient for her.At the end of the relationship something was very clear to me - I hadstayed with Heather because I was a closeted transsexual. I felt like Iwas. The doctor shook his head. "I'm afraid that's not possible. As I said,your penis and testicles have calcified. They literally can be calledstone now. There is no soft tissue or arteries or nerves to attachanymore."What the doctor said had hit him like a brick. He had lost the use ofhis cock and balls and would never have them again. Or at least feelthem attached as they should be. While he was thinking about theramifications the doctor had written something down and handed it tohim. They were emails to psychologist that he said would help him inthis adjustment. With that, he got up, picked up the bag that held thesolid remains of his member and left the hospital.After a long dreary drive back home he finally arrived back home. Onentering the door he fell listlessly against the door before in a fitof rage he threw the bag away from himself feeling he was betrayed bythe displaced body part. The bag landed softly on the couch withoutincident but Adrien hardly cared and went off walking.
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