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Some might call her ‘plain’ and ‘heavy’, but it was really the sturdiness of a strong woman of Germanic stock with generous hip and modest bust, beautiful hands, fine gold blond hair pulled simply to the back of her neck and a clear ivory complexion that absolutely glowed. Her best features were her pink dimpled cheeks and her rosebud mouth. ‘I am rarely lonely,’ she enunciated carefully. ‘My teaching gives me a warm sense of fulfillment. I enjoy outings with friends, both married and single. I am easy with the men in the church choir, though none seems to desire me. And…I have a feeling of being needed…by…by…something greater. I also know for some reason that this, in time, will change.’ ‘Do you know why you left the convent?’ ‘Well, people say things about possession, but I have never felt this. I think perhaps I have sinful dreams and it disturbs the other sisters. Only this.’ ‘You understand why I am here?’ ‘My friends say that you will help me grow over my fear of men. Only I. I tried to do what I thought was needed, but they all think I was being selfish. I want this to be over, but I can't live with you the way you are now."I found myself getting angry. We always seemed to get back to our original starting positions. I felt like I'd changed as much as I could hope to, and Joyce felt like whatever changes I'd managed weren't enough.It was discouraging for me, but, from what she was telling me, it was quite a bit harder on her. I was angry because she wouldn't give me a real chance to show her it could work out if we both tried to make it work.It was more frustration with her than anger, but I'd had to work hard to make that distinction. My emotional range had widened after the identity merger, and it was taking me some time to adjust to controlling everything again.I told her that I'd come to Mama's house like I'd planned on, but that I'd come over early on Saturday so all of us adults could have a meeting and talk about possible directions we could all.
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