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But then how could I go through life never experiencing the sheer heaven of my 'special' orgasms? Yet, to continue on and drug innocent people and use them for my own ends was too low and underhand to contemplate. This was a time of profound soul searching, I felt that it was a 'no win' situation, damned if I do, damned if I don't. Could I ever justify doing to others what Ian had done to me? My mind was in turmoil, ridden with guilt that I could even think of doing such a thing and yet driven by the compelling need for mind-blowing sex.There was no way that I could make such a big decision on my own, I needed to talk to someone, share the burden of making such a epic choice. But the awful truth was, that there was no one I trusted enough that I could discuss this problem with, I was on my own. It was then that I remembered a book that I'd read years ago about a man who lived his life according to a roll of the dice. That way, it would transfer the onus from me and to an inanimate. Stop the presses. Extra! Extra!"That's too bad. I like you a lot. I want to be just like you when I grow up."Mike looked like I hit him between the eyes with a baseball bat. He hesitated, then started over. "I don't like you. But I wanted to say I respect you."Huh?"You're a great football player. Maybe even better than me, since you play almost everywhere."That had to hurt."And I realized that Robbie was right. You were trying to get me mad Friday night, to get me to play better. I realized that even if you'd thought those things, you wouldn't have said them, especially not there."Yeah. I did all the work, and he got the trophy for game MVP."I know you're good. And Robbie too. And that made me work harder to stay out in front. And the coach told me that you're the one who figured out that Pasco was anticipating me."I wondered if Mike had actually learned something or if he was trying to practice team leadership the same way he practiced passing by throwing the football through a.
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