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I couldn’t even properly comfort my daughter. She was in high school when it happened and I knew she missed her mother as much as I did, but I was useless for a while after her death. So the big question is: how do you start over at 46 years old having lost your partner of 20 years, the mother of your child, and the woman you still loved when you woke up every morning? There were still days when I woke up and thought I could smell her scent on the pillow next to me. Some days, I would go into the bathroom and I could swear that I could smell her shampoo. Sometimes I would be sitting down in front of the TV and find something so funny that I would turn to her favorite easy chair to say something to her, only to find it empty. My daughter was the one who finally convinced me that I needed to move out of the house we had lived in for the last 10 years and try to start over in a new area. She was right. I had tried to work the same job, drive the same car, and live in the same house.. Christine reached for Shaun’s hand, her face asking if he was alright, if they were okay, Shaun grasped her hand and held it shortly, giving her a nod. They were fine. Christine sighed happily, and went to grab some bowls from the cupboard. As she did, she shuddered with reaction and relief. How close was that? How lucky was she? If she hadn’t thought any quicker, if the truth had come out… oh, if only he could know! She wished he could know how much she loved him, how she yearned for him, how she only wanted to hold him and be with him… But he couldn’t know. He could never know. It was too dangerous. If the truth had come out, it could have blown up in her face, and destroyed their friendship, their siblinghood, their family, forever. And she would do anything, say anything, tell any lie to avoid that risk. She sighed again, silently railing at the unfairness of the universe. If only things were different… * * * Another day came. Chris got to the shower first, yet again, she waited,.
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