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When he just walks into my place, having been startled I try to decidewhat to do, I can see that he's drunk and realize he walked into the wrongapartment by mistake. As usual I had forgotten to lock my door.I'm not open about my dressing with many people and I sure didn't want thebitch across the hall knowing but he was gonna notice it was me fast. So Istood up to sort of hustle him out the door hoping he wouldn't realize itwas me.Big mistake he immediately started checking me out when he saw all thatleg exposed by the short skirt and the impressive girls exposed by theblouse. "Hey you are in the wrong apartment" I said. Shit second mistakenow he was looking closely at my face.Clocked! Fuck, fuck, fuck. I sat back down trying to think of what to saywhen I hear "wow you are the guy who lives here." If he could see myactual face under the makeup he'd have seen it turning white.He continued "You had me completely fooled for a minute, are you gay orsomething?" I was still trying to think. "What were you thinking about, anyway?" He's not here." Austin? Thank God." I thought he'd be waiting," I continued, ignoring Shelly's pissycomment."You are falling for him aren't you," said Shelly. "I knew this wouldhappen!" No I'm not! I don't even like him. I was going to break up with himthis morning. I had it planned out. I thought he'd be here. Now it's allfucked up."Shelly studied me for a long moment. "How can you break up with someoneyou're not going with? What were you and Austin doing yesterday,anyway?" Nothing. Damn Shelly, I think you're jealous." It's not jealousy. It's the fact you're getting involved with a boywhen you have no experience with them. They're not like us, Alex. Boyscan be manipulative; they don't care about your feeling. They'll sayanything to get you into bed with them."I wanted to tell her I knew more about boys than she suspected. Then Iremembered Austin's hard on in the dream and how icky I felt thismorning because of it. The memory repulsed me. I.
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