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No knocking. He looked up, match halfway to the cigarette between his lips. His chair was positioned by the door. Odd place for a seat, but it was his favourite. I guess so the smoke smell wasn’t in the house too much. “What the fuck do you want, kid?!” he said, barely looking up. That was always the way he addressed me. Almost like I was bothering him, but nevertheless welcome like family. I closed the half a metre of distance between me and him. I was feeling bold that day. I licked my thumb and index finger and snuffed out the match that was burning. I took his free hand and placed it down my dress pants, right between my thighs, under my panties, where I was already soaked. The unlit cigarette slowly fell from between his lips as his mouth dropped open at my boldness. His fingers had already found their way between my slit and moving slowly. His eyes travelled slowly up my body. First he was staring at his hands down my pants, then higher to my perky breasts hidden behind my. ”Chartered Acct : “Brilliant!! ‘Poultry Farmer’ it is! and Agricultural Income is tax-free.”Twelve of the finest (unintentional) double-entendres ever aired on British TV and radio:1. Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator - “This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother.”2. New Zealand Rugby Commentator - “Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside of him.”3. Pat Glenn, weightlifting commentator - “And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!”4. Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977 - “Ah, isn’t that nice. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of the Oxford crew.”5. US PGA Commentator - “One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them. Oh my god!! What have I just said?”6. Carenza Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on ‘Time Team Live’ said: “You’d eat beaver if you could get it.”7. A female.
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