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”Cute, I thought, she knew her Swedish music as well as her movies. Was there anything not to like about this Scandinavian hottie? I reached for her bag asking, "Such an interesting name, Bork. Anything to do with Bjorn?" That's Borg! No, I'm named after that Swedish chef on the Muppets. You know the one," she said, removing a meat cleaver she seemingly travelled with from her dusty backpack and swinging it briskly through the air, shouting, "Bork! Bork! Bork!"While I did have childhood memories of the scary Swedish chef, watching countless horror movies had me wary about driving into the unknown with a meat cleaver swinging blonde who may have a dark secret. Like perhaps she was a Lesbian Vampire Killer. That would so not be a case where even two out of three ain’t bad.But, I rationalised, life wasn’t a horror movie, and any way locking eyes with the Nordic lesbian beauty in the Southern hemisphere summer sun had bought my libido to warp speed. So, I tossed her backpack in the trunk. But I called them suites.The whole group followed the hostess to number 2. I leaned into Roger and Donna’s ear telling them this would be the suite that they would be in, having consenting guests as they see fit. Donna kissed me followed by her kissing Jill.The second suite was a bit smaller than the first one. It was ‘only’ 3120 square feet of elegant decadence. Suite three was the smallest of them all, a mere 3000 square feet.The hostess asked if there was anything, she could get us. I asked for dinner reservations but not their best restaurant. I wanted to save that dining experience for tomorrow night. She said she would take care of it for us. All she wanted to know was when and for how many. I gave her the requested information and she left.The whole gang was standing with their mouths open looking at the lavish digs. Finally, my favorite, John said, “Fuck me! .... This is the most beautiful place that I have ever seen. If it were a woman, I would marry it.” Everyone bust out.
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