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Just then, Puss did a passable imitationof a hoot owl. The girl turned toward the sound with a startled look on herface. "What the . . . " she started to say, when a bolt from Puss'scrossbow caught her in the belly, just below her navel. A few screams, a lotof wailing and tears, and she was bound and lined up with the others. Pussin Boots went to sleep. The next morning, he got up and came over to his catch. He yanked their pantiesoff completely, sniffed these with no small pleasure, then dropped them ateach girl's feet. All three were wide awake and wide-eyed. "H-how did you do it?" askedthe black-haired girl. "How'd I bag you? I know all about Smorgoth's certificates. He was alwayscareless, and he always forgot to check the box next to the catch-all clause.It's not valid. And since the certificates never mention housecats (let alonehousecats who walk on their hind legs and talk), I'm just not covered. I'vecaught a whole chorus line of fairies who had those things. You might. I just stood there while she softly pushed her tongue against mine.She finally pulled away. “Well you have now.”She turned and walked back inside.So the next time Sylvia and I hung out, I kissed her.“What the hell?!?!?” She angrily shoved me away. “What do you think you’re doing?”“I like you, and I thought…” I lamely began.“You thought wrong, I don’t like you that way. You’re cool and all, but you aren’t my type.”“Not her type? What is her type?” Christie looked puzzled.“I dunno. Not me, I guess.” I shuffled my feet.“Well, don’t worry about her. She wasn’t that cute anyway.”I looked up at Christie, exasperated. “Come on Christie, look at me. I don’t have girls throwing themselves at me.”She seemed a bit put off. “Well still, I didn’t like her.”Now I was getting annoyed. “You didn’t like her? You didn’t even meet her!!”“She looked wrong. Too mousy. You can do better than her.”I threw my arms up and laughed. “Well the only two girls I really talk to are you and.
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