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Besides, in the past my husband had been a great lover. Hadn’t Julie implied strongly that with her Pete had really delivered the goods, even for a woman with her voracious appetite? If that was true, then if I had left Pete and married Tony, might we not have found ourselves in the same position in a few years’ time?And by then I would have destroyed a wonderful marriage and a close, loving family.I wondered whether my husband had been bored with me too; whether it had been this staleness that had driven him to want me to sleep with other men. Pete hadn’t asked me to have a long term affair. Far from it; Pete had wanted me to have a series of short, sharp fuck-dates with exciting new men which he could watch.My husband was right; I had got what I wanted in bucketfuls. His fantasy had hardly been fulfilled at all.I began to realise just how monumentally selfish and stupid I had been and how close I had come to losing the most precious things in my entire life – if I hadn’t already. The neighbours' children were a bit younger than us, by a couple of years, and we now hadn't got a great deal in common, but we danced with them a lot, played silly games, and had fun. I missed Julie, though, and wondered what she was doing to celebrate the coming of the New Year.The TV that evening was of course the usual re-run of 'The Guns of Navarone' and '633 Squadron', while we waited for midnight and the annual televised display of the Scots celebrating Hogmanay. Actually, I really liked the music of Jimmy Shand and his band, and thought Moira Anderson had a wonderful voice, but normally by the time they came on, it was heading towards one o'clock in the morning and I was yearning for my bed.Once Mum and Dad had turned a few coins over, brought in some coal, and generally tried to ensure us all a happy and prosperous New Year, they went up to bed.Jen and I used the excuse of tidying the kitchen to stay downstairs by ourselves for a few more minutes; my sister gave me a.
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