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While Stacey was my dearest truest bestest friend--all those gushy girlie endearments--I'd be the first to admit that she was a first-class slut. That girl would ride anything with three legs.She hissed at me with an evil grin. "I found out the other afternoon why Coach goes through so many girls." You didn't," I gasped, faking my surprise."I did!" Plan on doing it again?" I was truly curious about that. Though she would spread her legs to anyone who uttered the magic phrase-- open staceyforme --I'd known her to stick around a guy if he made it worth her while."Are you kidding? That's what I was just saying. The man's a ball short of a full can, if you catch my meaning."Only because of the context of our conversation. But by being around Stacey so much, observing her love of inappropriate or bungled metaphors, I knew exactly what she was saying."I mean, really! I hate those kind of men. A handsome face, cute buns, and a definite angle to the dangle--and they think they can just lay. "Okay, the boys said your toilet keeps dripping. Is that true?" Yes but you don't need..." Marci, I'm here to help. Please let me try."She smiled and nodded. While she put the stuff back under the kitchen sink, I checked the toilet. When I saw I would need a new part for it, I headed over to the hardware store. It took me longer to get the part than it did to repair the toilet."Okay, what else do you need to do before we go to the cookout?" The house is a mess. I can't just leave it like this," said Marci."Go do what you have to. I'll fill the dishwasher and mop the kitchen floor."She looked at me as I reached for some dishes. I guess she figured arguing with me would be a waste of time, so she went into the family room and started vacuuming."What else do you want done?" I asked when I finished mopping the floor,"I have to take those boxes of Tom's stuff out. Some I want put in the attic and the others I need to take to the Salvation Army. His kids took what they wanted; I don't have.
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