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I put the company tabletop on the kitchen table, laid out the fabric and cut out a dress for my daughter, a blouse for my wife and myself. As I cut I indulged in fantasies of medieval ladies gathered in a sunlit room of some castle, dressed in lovely long gowns, each with a potential new long gown on their lap placing precise stitches by hand. I longed to be one of those ladies, secure in their art and creativity. But daydreams must fade and I could put it off no longer, it was time to confront my old enemy - the dreaded sewing machine.I doubt if Mr. Morse knew what havoc he would bring to my life when he invented the thing. On the surface it is a rather simple device. A motor, a few gears and cams and a needle bobbing up and down hypnotically. My wife has used this machine for years and never had a problem with it, but every time I come within six feet of it, it becomes a hypochondriac. Needles fall out, belts break, and gears grind. The thread tension becomes as erratic as the. I mean f'real, just calling it quits, I can't take the racist parents, and constant bullshit." Chris "Well you know what, Sheila homegirl is available,, ,,. ,Wink-Wink,. ,. ,. ," Sheila "....Oh, yeah, my patna' Sarah, seen a pic of you on Myspace, and was like,,, damn that thick nigga is HellllllZa fine. . . . So you know what, I could probably- hook it up." I "Whhhhhhhuhht, Levi, you gotta patna' foe'me." Chris slides in with the "Yeahhhhh my ninja, just the way you like'em Bordiqua, Puerto Rican chick, hella thick, and really pretty- pretty eyes,,, just not my type but uhh, you'uh liker." Sheila "Yeah nigga, she all that, buhh'uhhh-ruhhm, u gon' have'tuh drop that Bloated Barbie Amber, to fuck with my girl Sarah." I "Nigga, , , what did I say, I don't fucks'wit that BeeEzy, anymore. I'm done." Not quite truly I was preparing to dump Amber if, a young Mac, could find one bad bitch, to call my honey 'HiphopGirl'. Sheila "Look, she gon' be at the pad, when we get there so I will.
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