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It’s good to know that I’m not alone in my suffering.We’re going to be going to several areas today, some dark and some not so dark. As I said in the Night of Hell post I no longer believe much of anything religiously. I had a conversation with a friend that turned me on my ear. As I had stated in NOH I was extremely enraged at the Christian god for ignoring me. When I say enraged I mean the Hulk on a rampage would be considered slightly ticked in comparison. My friend who has walked through this entire mess with me said to me: “I know why God’s ignoring you.”Me:”Why, other than the fact I’m an asshole?”Friend: “You killed God. You’ve spent your entire life searching for wisdom. You’ve studied religion, magick, psychology, all of it. You killed your belief in god long before you ever got sick. When you faced that darkness you knew you were the only one there and that you couldn’t answer your own prayer.”Me: “Wait a minute, You’re saying I’m mad at myself?”Friend: “Yes.”I felt the. I turned us around, pushed her up against the brick wall and enjoyed myself with both hands kneading her butt and most of her weight on the wall. That's how I lost my cherry, balls deep in a beautiful blonde who was almost four years older than I was.I pummeled and pronged and mauled her until my thighs were cramping and my back was sore, and she was begging and mewling in words I couldn't understand, and then I thrust really deep, held it there with the girl arched back on it squealing like crazy. And I pumped out my semen, five or six ejaculations as she sobbed, "No, no, don't, don't." I think I whimpered; I usually do when I come; a combination of pleasure and relief. It roared out furnace hot, burning my rigid cock.I eased her down to get her feet on the ground and then extracted my huge shaft very slowly. When it emerged, popped out really, dripping, it jumped right back up, bouncing off my belly, ready for action, all slimy but still hard.Gasping for breath, her hands on my.
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