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The lawyer looked like he was going to faint, "Please, Mr. Boring sit down and I'll go over all of it with you."Roger walked over to the dining room table with the lawyer. After they sat down the lawyer spent several minutes sorting his papers out and arraigning them in neat piles. Several of the papers the lawyer picked up and read as if they might contain an error."This is the deed for the house and this is the tax bill; the taxes have been paid and the new tax bill won't come for another year." Whoa. Back up a minute. I can't afford a house."The lawyer turned white, "No, Mr. Boring. This house was one of Ben Chu's properties. He is giving it to you. He had us transfer the deed yesterday in your name. We had your signature put on all of the paper work. Mr. Chu gave me a sample of your signature and ... well, everything is in your name now. The house is completely furnished and the landscaping is superb." I can't accept this," Roger snapped.He could hear the lawyer gasping for breath. It’s really good, a mix of punk, dub and ska.” She grinned sheepishly. “Kinda a perfect choice really.”She took the cassette off me and put it on while I sipped my coffee. As the music filled the tiny room, Elspeth sat beside me and kissed me again.I loved kissing her but a nagging thought kept screaming from the back of my mind. 'You don’t have a willy. How are you going to shag her?'Eventually, in order to shut the voice up, I broke the kiss and took her hands in mine. I could feel my face going scarlet before I had even opened my mouth.“Um, Elspeth, you know I don’t have a willy.”“I know,” she whispered, kissing me again. “But you have a mouth and fingers and I’m not a big fan of penetrative sex being the be-all and end-all so why don’t you stop worrying.”She stood up and let her dress fall to the floor. She was beautiful. Her boobs looked quite big on her petite frame and she had a tiny waist and curvy hips. She stood between my legs and reached behind and unfastened her bra. Her.
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