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Or am I projecting?Another customer, short and stocky, ambled in. Checked me up and down, turned to the sad-looking guy, “Who’s the slit?”“Whitetail.”Wuh-oh. Maybe he isn’t laughing on the inside after all. I looked at the sad man more closely. I saw Boo Radley looking like he was one gloomy day from cutting off an ear. He shot me the finger. Gringa.I finished my beer, straight from the bottle, forcing myself not to hurry. These were two skanky dudes. If I were a taxonomist, I’d classify them under a new subspecies. Asshola Triassic. Or something.Señor Mustache nudged his buddy, lifted his skinny right thigh, and cut loose a noisy, smelly, hot droodler. Laughed loudly.An odd thought popped into my mind, “If they hang you, I’ll pull on your legs.”The lucky part of my Texas Two-Step came that Tuesday night. I’d spent the day driving around the Dallas / Ft. Worth area, familiarizing myself with the territory. Getting lost repeatedly. But that’s actually a good way to get to know the. Omigod.’ ‘Do you two know each other?’ Bruce slurred. ‘No it’s just that I thought being a recluse from the city he would be old, look alcoholic and be bald.’ ‘Try him out darling. He might have techniques you’ve never experienced.’ ‘Don’t talk like that Bruce and I mean it. Welcome to our home Hogan, it is Hogan isn’t it?’ ‘Yes ma’am,’ Hogan said, kissing her cheek. ‘I’m buying my way in for a meal unannounced with this bottle of gin.’ ‘Oooh you lovely man. Bruce why don’t you buy me presents like this?’ ‘Well I wouldn’t because I know for a start you don’t like gin.’ ‘Shut up Bruce. Please come in dear man and wash up because I’m ready to serve. Show Hogan the bathroom dear.’ ‘He’s seen bathrooms before darling.’ ‘Bruce Mrs Payne is performing admirably as the perfect hostess. Please do as she asks.’ ‘All right, all right. Don’t get off your bike.’ They had just began eating when the back door opened and a female called, ‘It’s only me, kicking off these fucking tight shoes that are.
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