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He was laid out in the coffin for friends and neighbours to pay their last respects.“He’s got a great tan,” Mrs Doolan from next door mused. “The holiday did him the world of good.”“And he looks so calm and serene,” said Mrs McGuiness.“That’s because he died in his sleep.” explained Mrs Murphy, “and he doesn’t know he’s dead yet, but when he wakes up, the shock will kill him!”“Your glass is empty O’Flaherty, will you be having another?”“And why would I be wanting two empty glasses?” replied O’Flaherty.Murphy arrived home late from the pub, well oiled and ready for trouble.“Is that you Murphy?” called his wife.“Byjasis! It damned well better be!”Two tough union men were working on a building site when Murphy fell from the second floor scaffolding.“Are ya dead?” cried Gallagher from above.“To be sure I am,” replied Murphy.“You are such a liar Murphy that I don’t know whether to believe you or not!” called Gallagher.“That proves I’m dead,” said Murphy’s voice from the rubble below,. ..." Well you're not! That's the point! You're the same person you werebefore! You just have a different... body! What's inside is the same!What you like is the same!" Taking me by the hands... "Honey, I know thisis hard on you; I understand, really, I do, but you really have to find away to accept what is happening. Can you do that?" Yeah, I guess... I don't have a choice, do I?" Yes honey, you do! It's this, or jail!" That's no choice!" I know, but we are both stuck, aren't we? I mean, this is hard on metoo! I mean, I'm used to having my son around, now I have a daughter, andshe needs almost everything!" Yeah," I said sourly, "like Tampons! Me! Needing a Tampon? How stupid isthat!?" Well, girls your age need them honey, and it does help to confirm thatyou are a female, which might just save you someday! That's why Iinsisted on the very best panty I could find! As much as you might notlike it, the simple act of being able to have a period might prove to bevery useful!"I sat back in.
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