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For all I know he did.Why couldn't I get him to pay me that kind of attention? Was there something wrong with me? I knew he found me attractive. He's told me so often enough when we've talked. I've also seen the way he looks at me sometimes. Those looks cause me to become aroused like nothing else, and yet, he's never touched me in an "inappropriate" way. And those looks, I just know, are not meant for me to notice, but I do. Oh, do I ever.Sometimes I feel like I'm on a damned pedestal and I hate it. I fucking hate it! I mean, if just having him look at me makes me feel so aroused that my panties are soaked through and through, what would his touch do to me? I almost believe that if he touched me in a sexual way, even kissed me with even a hint of intimacy, I might actually climax on the spot.I have decided to find out what it would take to get his attention, to make him openly aware of me as a woman who desired him. I mean, he's shameless with other women. He's not shy. We talk. I was pleased to hear that she had seen more of the acquaintances I had introduced her to and even more pleased that she hadn’t made contact with anyone who knew me and Johnny well.It was still painful hearing all about her and my beloved Johnny’s plans for the year and the rest of their lives but, knowing that my scheme had already started, I could handle the pain much better.I spent the evening at work then afterwards in my room watching more video clips followed by a certain amount of ‘practice’ in front of the full length mirror on my wardrobe door.I slept less well that night, my mind full of excitement and anxiety about the following day.*It was already dark when I let myself into Fiddler’s Cottage on Wednesday night with my back pack over my shoulders. My heart was thumping in my chest and my tummy full of butterflies but I was determined to see it through. I had ducked out of work that night pleading with my Boss the need to help my friend. He had been very understanding so.
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