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I nodded in agreement again. ‘But once I had agreed to impersonate Minerva, I was in too deep to get out. Besides, after all that surgery… and I was stuck out the middle of nowhere, in the back of beyond of Argentina… and I couldn’t understand a word of the language in the beginning. ‘It had all sounded so simple to start with, just pretend I’m someone else for a year or so. But it hasn’t been a year, it’s been… I don’t know, it must be nearly four years now, and for the first four or five months of that, I was stuck in a hospital in America. Jesus, that plastic surgery was more painful than I was led to believe it was going to be.’ At this time we were disturbed when the Carpenter’s and Ronny Mackintosh entered the room. I suppose either the room had been bugged — or alternatively Bernie or Marco were wearing hidden radios, because they all appeared to be fully aware of what had just taken place. Helen Carpenter — who suddenly appeared to be in charge — did all the talking. ‘You. If you like how we do it, it's probably best not to speculate about the origins of our talent. Just enjoy the moment and be happy that we're good at it. See also rule #2 about gratitude.13. No, it doesn't particularly taste good. And I don't care about the protein content.14. No, I will NOT do it while you watch TV.15. When you hear your friends complain about how they don't get blow jobs often enough, keep your mouth shut. It is inappropriate to either sympathize or brag.16. Just because "it's awake" when you get up does not mean I have to "kiss it good morning".A Man's Rebuttal1. First of all, yes you are obligated to do it. If you don't we will find someone (younger, prettier, and dirtier) who will.2. Second, swallowing a teaspoon of cream is a hell of a lot easier than licking a dead fish.3. You want to talk about farting? Does the word "queef" mean anything to you?4. I will use your ears as I see fit. Don't worry about it and be thankful I'm not pulling your hair.5. When you're.
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