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Then, on the way home, you step into a gully and brake the heel, the right heel of your new black pumps, those you've bought just for today. Bought just for meeting me... It has been three days since you met me. In the concert hall. You rushed in only after the third ringing, crimson cheeks bore witness to your haste to be on time. Nodding shortly, politely, somewhat formally to the right and to the left neighbor, to me, after finally taking your seat. You pulled your slipped down summer dress’ strap correctly over your shoulder again. The orchestra entered the stage right after you came, and finally the conductor. He raised his baton for Mahler's fifth symphony, the opus is a roller coaster of emotions; a continuous switchover of lyrical and hectic phrases. During the Adagietto, the most melancholic piece of music that has ever been set in sheet music, I looked over to you. A tear ran down your cheek, barely visible in the darkened concert hall. I gave you my handkerchief, your gaze. “I’m sorry. I never meant for my burdens to--”“No. Stop. It’s okay.” She took a step back to maintain distance between us and also held up both hands. “It’s alright. I’m not mad at you. You’re being honest, and I appreciate that. You’ve shared some pretty intimate details of what’s going on in your life, and I’m glad you think enough of me as a person to do that. It’s good that I know where I stand with you. I didn’t sleep with you that first night intending for us to fall in love with each other or anything, but it’s good that I understand that the chances of me convincing you to fall in love with me are basically zero. That knowledge keeps me grounded. It keeps ME from losing my head over you, because it would be so easy to lose my head over you. It would be easy to let my emotions carry me away and put me in another situation where I love a guy more than he loves me. Better I know the score in advance, right? So ... thank you ... for that.”Her words said ‘thank you’ but her tone.
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