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Her eyes were large and brown, and she was watching Melanie and me carefully. She was dressed conservatively, wearing a loose-fitting buttoned sleeveless blouse and a pleated skirt that nearly reached her knees. She looked nearly as nervous as I felt.Melanie led me over."Reggie, this is Sean," she said. She gave me a little push forward.Reggie licked her lips nervously, and then put out her hand."Hi," she said, so softly I barely heard her.I shook her hand as gently as I knew how. I didn't want to scare her any more than she already seemed to be, and I certainly didn't want to bruise her. She looked far too delicate for a klutz like me to be around."Hi," I mumbled, suddenly unable to come up with anything cleverer to say.Bryan laughed out loud at me. "Jesus, Porter, she's not going to break," he cried. "You probably don't have to be quite that careful."I glanced over at him, feeling a little panicky, but seeing him laughing at us pretty much broke the ice. I could see the humor of. "You should have received official notification--" Oh, yeah, right," she said, closing the door and unlatching the chain, then reopening it. "I got it here somewhere. I never heard of no ass tax before." It's a new government program, designed to reduce bureaucratic inefficiency as a result of the Hmmhmm-Frmmhmmhmm Act," I said as she let me into the house."Whatever," she said as I followed her back toward the kitchen of her cheap, untidy apartment.Her place, and its occupant, were perfect examples of Jerry Springer America--the apartment dominated by a TV, food plates sitting straight on the roughly upholstered couch, beer cans and one of the Left Behind novels visible just under it. While she--how may I describe her loveliness? Fat ass in a too-tight pair of white shorts leading down think trunk-like thighs to bare feet, sloping breasts hanging low over a broad belly under a Tommy Hilfiger T-shirt, stringy bottle-blonde hair and sunken eyes bespeaking little intelligence but, I.
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