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I could not help but wonder about her double meanings though and her hand on my shoulder confirmed in my mind that something else was happening too. When she finished, I turned to face her. Her hand slipped from my shoulder, and down my arm before she retracted it to rest in her lap. I gave her my thoughts on what she had presented and suggested a few changes to make it easier for the board to grasp it. She thanked me and said she would make the changes and send me a copy. “But Hank, make sure you stop in my office before you leave, I need to get something straight between us. Okay?” “Sure thing boss,” I said and then left the room with my back to her. I figured, with her last comment, the last thing she would want to see was the tent she created in my pants. At five thirty, most, if not all the other people had left. I packed up my things, and leaving them on my chair went to Amanda’s office. I knocked on her door frame. “Oh good, I was beginning to think you left,” she said. “You. The migrating arctic tern is able to fly 22,000 miles in a year. This gives you just some idea how importantly precious animals are to the Earth and how far a frigging bird will fly just to get laid. And here you are sitting home alone on a Saturday night eating Cheese Doodles, instead of going to the local bar to pick up a woman, while hoping to get lucky. You ought to be ashamed. At least join a dating site. Twenty-two thousand miles? Are you kidding me? The circumference of the Earth is 24,000 miles. I can just see hear his little birdie girlfriend asking him, ‘What took you so long and why are you glowing green?’ ‘Frigging airplanes kept getting in my way and I had to make evasive maneuvers not to be sucked in their engine. Then, just as I got over Japan, there was an explosion and I had to fly through a nuclear cloud.’ ‘Are you okay?’ ‘Yeah, but I have two penises now.’ ‘Wow. Cool. Lucky me.’ Earth Day is all about conservationism, helping to protect the environment, and doing.
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