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"Today, the Government has stolen your shovel, taxed your asses, raised the price of Camels and mortgaged the Promised Land!Now, in Canada, we can only retire at 67, not 65. The government officials get the big bucks in their pocket and can retire at 55 with full protected pension while the taxpayers, us, slave for pennies and they're even getting rid of them. Go figure.I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, the wars, lost jobs, savings, Old Age Security, retirement funds, etc, I called a Suicide Hotline.I had to press 3 for English.I was connected to a call center in Pakistan. I told them I was suicidal.They got excited and asked if I could fly a plane or drive a truck.Folks, we're screwedDoctors(A) The number of physicians in the U.S. is 700,000.(B) Accidental deaths caused by Physicians per year are 120,000.© Accidental deaths per physician is 0.171Statistics courtesy of U.S. Dept of Health and Human Services.Now think about this:Guns(A) The number of gun owners. Should I bring a U-Haul or will your girlfriendbring her own?" Penelope ducked under the stapler that Silvia threw ather.Silvia was living proof that the trope about lesbians falling in loveand moving in with each other on the second date was true. She hadbeen through a succession of live-in girlfriends ever since Penelopehad met her. Not that Penelope could throw stones, she had beenoutwardly promiscuous until she had met Bradley Wilson and sobered up.Penelope and Bradley were seated at their table at Bentley?s patientlyawaiting Silvia and her date. She was drinking a club soda and Bradleywas drinking white wine. He had told Penelope that he was willing togive up alcohol all together if she found it uncomfortable but she toldhim she had the drinking problem not him. He should not deny himselfthe pleasure of having a drink just because she couldn?t."Here they are. Jesus! What a stunner," Bradley exclaimed and noddedover Penelope?s shoulder.Penelope turned around and saw a.
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