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Yes, they were slightly lower than they used to be, but still full and round. Ah well. The steam interrupted her ritualistic scrutiny. She stepped behind the fogged glass of the shower stall and flinched at the hot water. She adjusted the dial. Her body tingled in waves as hot water poured over her head, through her hair and rolled pleasingly down the gentle curves of her body. She thought for a moment about work, about her writing, about her family back east. Images of her life flashed through her mind accompanied by snippets of songs, commercials, and recent conversations with friends. She should publish. She should take another class. She should buy Crest. Sarah breathed in the moist hot air then turned and buried her face in the vigorous spray of hot water. Eyes closed, she reached for the soap. She lathered, inhaling the lavender aroma, and caressed her body in a kind of daze. She pictured herself showering with Danny, as they had on their last anniversary after a delicious. I cursed myself for having bought him a Queen-sized bed; if he only had a single, like the ones at the hotel, I would have been able to cosy up to him much better. Still, I was at least able to press myself against him when he grew hard. God, I wanted him in me.Following the advice of the Police Constable who took my final deposition, I went to see a counsellor. She was surprisingly perceptive, and noted my fidgeting and general anxiety; I was, however at least able to obfuscate the actual reason for my jumpiness; she put it down to lingering fear after what we came to call "the attack." I, of course, knew better; I spent every waking moment fantasising about my son. I knew it wasn't normal, wasn't right, but that sure and certain knowledge just made it all the more delicious, a secret ... secret love that I knew could never be.For that, in truth, was what I felt; I loved him. And not in the manner of a normal mother, oh, no! In the manner of a woman and a man. I wanted him to.
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