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I regret nothing.”Bess strove to understand what Kate had said. Comprehension involved placing herself outside her common day to day existence, the only frame of reference she had ever known, and looking at life as one who did not really live. She thought it odd to want to be a part of her world, the toil, the uncertainty, and the inevitable doom of death, but if she tried very hard, she could vaguely perceive the alienation of which Kate spoke. She let that feeling sink in a bit, wondering what effect it might have on her. Nevertheless, a question still gnawed at her. “Why me,” she asked?“When first came to me word of thy sad tale I understood thy grief,” said Kate. “Thou art worthy of this gift. Make for thyself a fresh life, anew. If thou wishest, pass the jharum on to another, but I meant for thee to have another chance for happiness. Make it so, good Bess.” She smiled earnestly and clasped Bess’ hand to her cheek.“May I find thee and impart it onto thee again,” asked Bess,. "Oh shit..." Was all she could say.I let myself fall onto the floor and sat pressing my back against the sink cabinet. Lucy sat down next to me and held me."I thought you used protection," she whispered.I felt tears rolling down my face. I wasn't supposed to be pregnant. I was just about to finish high school and had plans to go on to college and study to be a writer. This was going to ruin everything, all of my hopes and dreams."Well we usually did ... but that one night ... Chase wanted to go bare and promised he would pull out. Well ... he didn't obviously," I began to sob.Chase and I had gotten together junior year of high school. I had finally given in to his advances. He had kept pursuing me since junior high by giving me carnations on Valentines days, chocolates on my birthday and cute bracelets for Christmas. Finally I gave in and said yes to dating him. We'd dated about six months until we decided to have sex.All this time I had managed to keep a steady boyfriend while my.
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