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If your parents participated in the time honored ritual of having you circumcised, you can Chafe the Weasel if you're not careful. A little lubrication goes a long way toward Changing Your Oil without Leaving Skid Marks on the Pink Panther.In the Other Hand, you have your just plain generic prick, with all the original upholstery in good condition, and Buffing the Banana in that situation doesn't Strain the Peel at all. As a matter of fact, if you have undamaged goods, too much oil can be a very bad thing when Engaging in Friction Therapy.Just a quick word about acceptable lube for those who need it. When Launching the Tadpoles, don't be a cheap ass and just spit in your hand. If you're going to be Greasing the Flagpole, at least take a little pride in what you put in your hand.Now, once you've decided to Mind Your Own Business, and, if necessary, have acquired the needed lube to Operate the Pump Action Porridge Gun, then technique comes into play.It's not necessary to Beat Your Meat. Don’t ask her while you’re in bed, and hope that she’ll turn around and offer it up to you like a birthday present. It probably won’t happen unless she has done it before and liked it.And she can like it, all it requires is a little sensitivity on your part, and a willingness to follow a few simple directions. I will dispense my advice on this subject now.1. Tell her that you fantasize about it, but don’t ask her to do it– not yet. Hearing you talk about it will put thoughts in her head without making her feel pressured or nervous. 2. Many of you will not like this one, but here it is: ask her to do it to you. I’m not suggesting you buy a strap-on or anything, although if you are into it, great– I’m talking about asking her to just put her finger up there. Tell her how great it feels, and how much you love it.Before you let her do this to you, allow me a few personal preference related suggestions. Wash yourself well, and make sure you don’t need to “drop the kids off at the pool”.
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