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" It felt exactly like the day before. And she figured it out in about three seconds. In exactly the same quiet voice, "I really wish I hadn't said that." "I love you too." It was all I could do to force the words out. They scared me shitless. "Thank you" Then she laughed. "I've got a mess to clean up. Can I call you again tonight? It means a lot to me." "I missed you when you didn't." There was a little pause and then in a rush, like before, she said, "Dad's still in prison and I'm still glad." And she was gone again. I just hoped that it was her last secret.__________ When the phone rang Saturday night, I'd been thinking a lot. "I'm laying on my bed naked and my breast pump just broke. What should I do?" I was so screwed and I knew it instantly. My head was full of mixed up feelings and there was no way I could be what she needed right now. So I did what I'm good at. I bent over and stuck my foot in my mouth, right up to the. She checked to make sure she was alone, then reached down and touched his hair the way she would when they made love. When she touched his cheek, she pulled her hand away from the cold body. “Wow,” she whispered to herself. “You really are dead now, aren’t you?” She remembered how they met, and how silly she would have thought it sounded if anyone else would have told her the same story. She had just gotten out of a verbally abusive relationship that all but destroyed her self-esteem, and went into, of all places, an adult-only chat room that was mostly people looking for cyber sex and hoping for real life hook-ups. She created the screen name “SexyNymph” even though she never felt sexy, or saw herself as a nymph. She did this so she could explore her darker side, and maybe exorcize some of her demons. The problem was, most of the men on there (if they were men) were rather mean and abusive. Then he sent her a private message under the screen name “Seasoned_Lover”. He liked her name,.
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