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I also knew that doing so would very likely undo all the gains I’d made over the past years, and I would be in danger of becoming exactly what her feminist acquaintances — I refused to call them her friends — said all men were. If Jennifer and I were to be intimate, it would have to be on her terms, at her request and with a full mutual understanding of what it meant, if that were even possible.She shut the door, and I shook my head to clear it, then went to my Apple ][. I opened up the text editor and selected the file that contained my current month’s journal. I entered my password, and when the file opened, I began to type. I had a lot to write about and when Jennifer got up from her nap a little over an hour later, I was still writing. She came over to me and put her hands on my shoulders, bent down and kissed me on the cheek.“Thanks, Steve,” she said softly. “Thanks for loving me enough to talk forthrightly to me.”“Jennifer, I think your friend has gone off the deep end. I don’t. ” I watched his face, waiting for him to whine, to force my hand one way or the other. To complain loudly, to arrogantly assume I had to have his cock. But he didn’t. Not a word crossed the lips that fell from their goofy, little boy grin, to push out in the very beginnings of a pout, and tremble a little. His eyes got a glazed shiny look, and I knew that this was the meanest thing I had done. But I was tired, and worse, I was bored. Pushing up into a downward dog over him and stretching my heels down, head, hair and breasts dangled, teased, over his prone body. Rocking back, I stood stretching for the ceiling. I could feel the wattage of his gaze on me, even as I reached back over head, flexed my spine, and stepped across his motionless body, stooping down to retrieve my clothes. “Get off my pants.” That harsh tone in my voice crept in whenever I talked to him, betraying my impatience with our situation. But I remained unsure about my greater dilemma. How long could I go on, my.
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