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As soon as the train had pulled away from the station and was moving smoothly once again, I took a small risk and released the left railing to retrieve a kerchief from my inner jacket pocket. Placing my fingers under her chin, I raised her head until her eyes met mine and raised an eyebrow. It took long seconds from that point, but finally she came to herself, moving away against the wall behind her once again where she accepted the proffered kerchief and began rubbing at her tear streaked face.From somewhere, she actually produced a small mirror and examined herself before wetting the fabric with her tongue and wiping at her streaked mascara. Clearing the majority of the damage she made a face at herself in the mirror, shrugged her shoulders minutely and reached into my jacket, slipping the used kerchief into a pocket. She raised her eyes to mine and smiled once before sorrow once again showed through and she began to lower her eyes. It was then that we saw the damage she had done. How would he react to this fantasy that she had described to me? Would he also enjoy being blindfolded and completely open to the will of a stranger?, Would he succumb to that kind of power, to the enjoyment of his body being pleasured by someone he could smell, touch and taste but not see? When she asked if I would be interested in being a part of the fantasy and being the mystery woman I was thrilled and terrified, but also so turned on all at the same time. I couldn’t wait and yet, being the pleaser and perfectionist that I am, I was terrified at the possibility of failure or, almost as diabolical… mediocrity.What if my own abilities as a lover, my own idea of my sexy, sensual self was all in my own mind? What if nerves took over? What if for whatever reason he didn’t enjoy me or the evening? My sexual/sensual motor runs at a pretty constant purr but the possibility that I was might actually be a great big fraud almost stopped me in my tracks. …..A moment of insecurity. The burden.
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