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I can hear my blood pounding in my ears. I can feel my heart beating rapidly. It scares me that I enjoy this as much as I obviously do. It scares me even more that it turns me on so much more when someone orders me to do something like this! I don't know much about kinky. But I'm pretty certain this sort of behavior qualifies.It's amazing to me that I never suspected these things about myself. It was never apparent until Thursday afternoon when I was accosted in the park. It might have ended there if not for Lisa. I'm so very grateful to her for taking me on this exciting journey, exploring a side of me I never even knew existed.Now that I'm exploring the submissive side of me that has been uncovered I'm enjoying the hell out of it. I'm scared, though. I remembered mom's warning. But her warning wasn't necessary. I know how dangerous this can be. These are the dangerous behaviors girls are warned about from a very early age.I suppose that's part of the excitement. And there can be no. I’m on my way.”Something else was bothering me too. This was November 15th. My birthday was the twelfth; it was my fortieth. Helen never said or did anything.Ever since the kids came along we’ve always made a big deal out of birthdays. I don’t mean a lot of presents and stuff; I mean we do things like cake and ice cream and candles and singing ‘Happy Birthday’ and all. I like to deliberately sing off key. I only do it to piss Helen off. I also always tell her not to make a fuss over my birthday, but the truth is I enjoy it. Sure my feelings got hurt a little when Tuesday came and went and nobody said anything. Oh well I guess I know why ... now.I picked up speed. God damn it I was going to find out. I was going to catch her! Maybe I should call home? I pulled over and used my cell to call the house.My mom picked up, “Hello.”“Hello mom? It’s me. Where’s Helen?”“Oh Helen? Helen had to go out. I’m babysitting till she gets back.”“Do you know when she said she’d be back?”“No Tommy she.
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